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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303020">under the weight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatrythms/pseuds/theatrythms'>theatrythms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Double Agents, Family, Gen, Mentions of Hoshido Siblings, written in 2016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:02:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatrythms/pseuds/theatrythms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anankos hides. He has no real reason to betray Takumi.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hydra | Anankos &amp; Takumi, mentioned Takumi/Setsuna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>under the weight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>takumi was my ultimate Fave during fates and i didnt marry him bc it wouldve been strange but i DO love him and kiragi and the way that in conquest he became possessed ,,, i dont rememeber where this au was going in 2016 but i think it had some climax w anankos promising that if he killed one of the twins in an all out assault on the dusks he would win . wild . anyway , enjoy !!<br/>title comes from the weight of living by bastille !</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Shirasagi- 2010</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows it's better to sneak into the house than knock on the door. He’d rather not wake the entire household on the way in. Night acts as a cover, the only scout he needs to assure that no one can see him, even with the dull light emitting from Fujin Yumi pulsing around the window ledge as he sneaks in. Takumi went through both Saizou and Kagerou’s guard, even besting his own retainers, as slowly, he sulked through the Hoshido estate. Shirasagi at his back, reflecting onto the dozens of windows of the main house of the Dawn Dragons, the deathly hum of quiet droning out the city lights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The estate isn’t even a few years old. No older than a decade, and despite the constant activity and flow of people, it still feels empty to Takumi. Maybe it’s the lack of the children it was built to protect running around the grounds; or the fact that his step-mother no longer tended to the flowers in her garden; or no matter how many people infiltrate the long corridors connecting the four sides of the compound together, it still felt hollow, empty, unused. He knows that Orochi and Reina are trying their best to uphold the standard, everything still looks dull without Mikoto Hoshido’s life, spilling out onto every surface of the estate, in the wild flowers and the water features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His therapist says he hasn’t dealt with his grief, and needs to properly mourn before moving on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well Takumi Hoshido can’t really move on, not when Ryoma has stepped up to the plate as head of the Dawn Dragons so effortlessly, with plans to run for office in a few years. Hinoka did what Hinoka always does, and dived into her work, getting over it on the sidelines. Sakura cried, but healed in time, true to her usual nature.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Kamui and Corrin just left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Last Takumi heard of his sister, she was back with the Dusks, grovelling for mercy to the family that took her from her real home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Last Takumi heard from Corrin, he was still trying to convince Ryoma not to go to war with the Dusks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi lost his thought for a second, trailing back to his estranged siblings. The short time both twins had spent with the Dawn Dragons wasn’t catching up for a lifetime of absence, but rather watching their mother’s last living moments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In fact, Takumi is so far into his thoughts, he doesn’t notice Setsuna sitting on his bed, her normal, bored expression on her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Setsuna?!” He says, acting as if she totally didn’t startle him out of his wits. His sister’s retainer is clumsy and reckless, but also the best sniper in the Dawns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax,” she drawls, turning off her smartphone and flicking the leather-cover back on. “I’m not gonna jump you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well wouldn’t be the first.” Takumi mutters. He sets Fujin Yumi back into his wardrobe, letting the string’s glow die down on the hooks. He hangs the quaiver next to it, mentally doing a check of the arrows in it. Takumi sits down, back turned to her as he rubs circles into his eyes. “What’re you here for then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Kiragi. The next two days are the closest leave we can take before his his birthday.” She sighs. “Would you be up for it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi swears quietly, guilt overpowering the tiredness, making him even more exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like, I know we aren’t together or anything, but he deserves to not have like, completely negligent parents.” Setsuna says, voice still sounding bored, despite the truth ringing in it. She’s a surprisingly caring mother, calling him whenever, writing letters, personally overseeing his studies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Him and Setsuna’s fling really wasn’t anything more than some throng of passion between him and his sister’s friend. Back then, when he was young and foolish, he would’ve fretted more about what would come from being a father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, weeks before Kiragi was born, Ryoma declared all Dawn Dragon children had to be sent away for their protection during the war. Takumi still berates himself for being relieved when he left Kiragi in Fort Jinya, especially since Kiragi ended up being the best kid a parent could ask for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it really didn’t go with his schedule.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Takumi says cracking his neck with a long, hard sigh. He’s still in his twenties, not a brittle old man. “I’ll be there tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Setsuna places a hand on his shoulder, vice oddly sincere by her standards. She smiles lazily. “I knew you would.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as Setsuna leaves, Takumi is back outside, leaping over buildings. Free running in Shirasagi isn’t exactly illegal, something he’s learnt after years as an active barrister, he takes a running jump across the apartment building roof, landing on the next with practiced ease. It’s a cloudy, the night sky disturbed by grey smog and the light pollution dims the stars intensively. Shirasagi, at the right time of night, is amazing. Alive with neon blood, glowing in the darkness. If it wasn't a view Takumi was more used to seeing, he'd be awed by it. Beautiful things lose beauty, when they're overly exposed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes him over forty five minutes to finally reach where he was running to, a tall, shabby apartment tower all the way on the other side of the city. From above he can hear the indistinct chatter, the rowdy hum below him climbing up into the sky. The Suzanoh district isn't the friendliest, Takumi knows, as both a barrister and as a Dawn Dragon. He knows that underlings make frequent deliveries there and as for competition—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Let's say that's not an issue, not with four intimidating Lords and Ladies running a cartel, each armed in some way, or in the form of deadly trained personnel. In return, it’s a safe place. The drugs they were getting were safe, at Sakura’s orders they were all checked thoroughly before being brought to the streets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though the Dawn Dragons were doing bad things, they were doing them in good practice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi has a conscience. It nags and nags and he can hear it in the whistling wind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heads down the rickety fire escape of the opposite building, into the nightlife and towards the haggard looking building. The door opens easily, a couple sit with hands all over each other in the foyer, too hot in the summer heat to be outside on the streets. One of the girls sends him an odd look, like he's familiar somewhere, which wouldn't be the first time. He is the stepson of the former Mayor of Shirasagi. It's why he chooses to run across the city, as opposed to buses and trains, or god forbid, like Ryoma, in a bright, white limousine that pulls him through the streets. Instead of acknowledging her, he punches the elevator button. The bell pings as the lift reaches the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inhale, exhale. The jazzy elevator music is enough to make him laugh, leaving the lift at the tenth floor. The carpet is worn and tired looking, a waft of cigarette smoke cloaking the ceiling, wallpaper yellowing at the corners. At the very end of the corridor, the second last apartment on the floor, he can hear chatter coming from the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sucks in a breath to knock, only releasing it when he hears the voices behind the door quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A man with a shock of grey hair opens the door, a lazily grin spread over an attractive face. A wall of hot air hits Takumi, the blazing heat inside the apartment traveling outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inigo, who is it?” A faint, rough voice asks in the background. Takumi and Inigo share a glance. They both knew what he was like when the man got like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's me.” Takumi answers for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A loud rumble, something akin to a laugh, is heard, even with Takumi standing in the doorway. Lilting music, unlike Vallite music, which can either be fast and sharp like the kind you'd find in the West, toward Windmire, or slow and paced, like in the East, at Shirasagi. It takes Takumi a second to realize it's music from Ylisse, off to the south. He's never known the man to entertain anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inigo cocks his head, gesturing to the apartment. “I think that means you're good to go in.” He says, then drops his voice. “He's in an odd mood tonight, no idea why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi flashes an uncomfortable smile at the stranger. “I'll keep that in mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The apartment is shrouded in smoke, the chatter erupting again as Takumi makes his way through the chairs and people that have all drifted to this, small apartment. At the end of the room, at the only window, in an armchair behind a table, is Anankos, one of the most powerful men in the city, just no one knows it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What's the little dragon doing here tonight?” Anankos drawls, as Takumi walks up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can't make it tomorrow so I came today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anankos looks him dead in the eyes, an act that would scare a lesser man. Takumi feels himself cringe at the scrutiny, wide green eyes raking over him. Anankos is a thin, spindly man, with greying green hair and a gaunt face like a broken mosaic, all crooked and sharp. He raises one finger, pointing at Takumi, all the shadows of  the faint light cast across his face. Everything to the man must be a grand gesture, an example of power. The talking dims, the neon light from the city blaring back at them from the window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smile slides across his horrid face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did the right thing then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi exhales shakily, releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding. He knew what the men in the room were expecting from that ordeal, and could feel the anticipation building.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inigo returns, holding a bottle of beer loosely by the neck. He's slim and lithe, handing the bottle to Takumi, the condensation wet against both of their fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that all for the night?” Inigo asks. “I've gotta get back to Windmire before they know I'm gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anankos just waves him off. “Tell Owain I'll need him next month, he has something for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a small bow, Inigo steps away. The door swings open, light flooding the dark room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who's he? A Dusk?” Takumi almost snarls. If this meeting were to get out Ryoma would never trust him again. Hinata and Oboro would be dishonoured by his insolence. Hinoka would take it too personally and </span>
</p><p>
  <span>the Dusks would know of the weakness of the Dawns.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(But that's the thing. They are weak. Getting weaker. They need Anankos and Takumi’s the only one to swallow his pride, and chase it with victory.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what I like about you? You think.” Anankos raps the side of his own head. “You think. Unlike all of these fuckers. You're so </span>
  <em>
    <span>educated </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>poised</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He leans very, very close to Takumi, taking a deep drag of the joint, and asks a question Takumi has been asking himself over the last few years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi struggles not to cough at the stream of smoke that hits his face. He keeps his hard stare, face unmoving, no signs of emotion. He doesn't want high praise from Anankos, he wants the invisible army, and everything that comes with it. He wants to crush the Dusk Dragons and destroy them, for what they did to his family, his mother, his son.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You remind me of myself, when I was younger. Eager to please. Too much to say, not enough people listening. A big family you couldn't let down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi swallows whatever relation he has to the words. No matter how true they ring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They dismissed me back then, but look who's still alive? Mila and Duma? That shit was just pathetic. And then fucking Naga jumped ship when Grima got out, and now she's off wiping the Exhalt’s ass just to avoid jail time.” Anankos sighs, flicking the tip of the joint, ashes falling like grey rain on the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Divine Dragons had been around longer than both Dawn and Dusk combined. Like the Dawn and Dusk Dragons, they'd been a family that splintered off when ideals and egos got in the way. For the most part, their individual empires are all falling around them. Started with Mila and Duma, whose competition with each drove their cartels into the ground. Then Grima rose and Naga, the eldest of them all, became a mole for the Shepherds, a citizen militant group that climbed their way into the bureaucracy of Ylisse. All that was left of their legacy was Anankos, the youngest, the Silent Dragon, who just watched as everyone else tore themselves apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anankos hides. He has no real reason to betray Takumi to the Dusks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Takumi has always unwittingly been too trusting.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” he crushes the joint. His eyes are piercing, beady and intent on Takumi. “What can I do for you today, Takumi Hoshido?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi closes his eyes, thinks of his mother—both of them, Ikona and Mikoto, who once controlled the same empire—and asks for forgiveness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiragi!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi swoops the boy into his arms, calm washing over both of them. Kiragi is small in his hands, too little to be seven but too big to be his baby.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What're you guys doing here?” Kiragi giggles, wrapped up in Setsuna’s arms. “My birthday's not for two weeks!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Takumi looks at Kiragi, into amber eyes so like his own, but younger, with innocence rimming the golden irises. Takumi’s eyes are bloodshot with angry, purple bruises under them from the night before. Setsuna had looked concerned when she saw them the first time, but didn't say anything. She knows when to talk and when to keep quiet, but above all, cared more about the little boy on the other side of Fort Jinya than any sort of trouble Takumi could get himself into.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ruffles his son’s hair. “Why? Because we love you, that's why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiragi’s smile is wide and bright, and makes everything worth it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank u for reading !!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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